Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The ramblings of the loved.

I sometimes pray
That my mother and father
Stop believing in me.
I feel taken by the privilege
Of their love.
The shaky scribbles of their hands
Etched in the small of my back,
My shins healed in scabs
From fences they did everything
Everything
Each thing they could
To get me over.

Sometimes I like to pretend
That my "I Love You's"
Are received with the intensity
I feel them with.
But I know they are not
Because nobody has yet responded
With, "Ouch.
What the hell did you do that for?"
Nobody has broken into tears
And so I know
It has only ever been
A sentimental trust.
And I can accept that,
But I don't want to.

On occasion I wish
That the children of this world
Were taught
That beauty is not the thing admired
But the admiration.
That flowers and perfect bodies
Are only created out of necessity,
While the sneaky moment silent
In trusting these things
To be filled with the beauty
They demand,
This moment is where holy begins.

Once or twice I have demanded truth
But truth is like puce;
There are so few people it looks good on
So I like to take funny pictures of truth
I like to discuss it when I am drunk
And pretend I will ever believe it.

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